How to Make Friends with Your Inner Voice

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Written By Jim

Jim has been teaching meditation and positive self talk since 1982.

Your inner voice can be a powerful ally or a formidable foe in your pursuit of success. This article reveals how your inner voice can influence your performance and how to use it to your advantage.

Jim Van Wyck

Hi, I’m Jim Van Wyck, the news curator for

I’m always looking for articles that can help you improve your self-talk and well-being.

Today, I want to summarize an article from India Currents that explores the fascinating topic of your inner voice. [Is That Voice in Your Head a Friend?]

Have a positive inner voice

Main Points

What is your inner voice?

  • Your inner voice is the voice in your head that narrates your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
  • It can be positive or negative, loud or quiet, friendly or hostile, rational or irrational, helpful or harmful.
  • It can influence your mood, behavior, self-esteem, and well-being.

How does your inner voice affect you?

  • Your inner voice can affect you in many ways, depending on its tone and content.
  • A positive inner voice can motivate, encourage, support, and make you feel good about yourself and your life.
  • A negative inner voice can demotivate, discourage, criticize, and make you feel bad about yourself and your life.
  • Your inner voice can also affect how you perceive yourself and others, how you cope with stress and challenges, learn and grow, and achieve your goals.

How can you change your inner voice?

  • You can change your inner voice by becoming more aware of it, challenging it, and replacing it with more positive and constructive messages.
  • You can use various techniques to change your inner voice, such as:
    • Mindfulness: Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without judging or reacting to them.
    • Cognitive restructuring: Identifying and questioning the validity and accuracy of your negative thoughts and replacing them with more realistic and positive ones.
    • Affirmations: Repeating positive statements to yourself that boost your confidence and self-worth.
    • Self-compassion: Treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness when you make mistakes or face difficulties.
    • Gratitude: Expressing appreciation for what you have and what you have achieved in your life.

How can you make your inner voice your friend?

  • You can make your inner voice your friend by cultivating a friendly relationship with it, rather than fighting it or ignoring it.
  • You can do this by:
    • Listening to your inner voice with curiosity and interest, rather than fear or annoyance.
    • Talking to your inner voice as if it were a separate person, rather than a part of yourself.
    • Asking your inner voice questions that help you understand its perspective and intentions, rather than dismissing or rejecting it.
    • Negotiating with your inner voice when it disagrees with you or wants something different from you, rather than arguing or complying with it.
    • Thanking your inner voice for its feedback and suggestions, rather than resenting or ignoring it.
How to have a better inner voice

My Biggest Takeaway

The one biggest takeaway from this article for me is that your inner voice is not your enemy, but your ally.

It is a part of you that wants to help you, even if it sometimes sounds harsh or negative.

You can change your inner voice and make it more friendly and supportive by using some simple and effective techniques.
Doing so can improve your mental health, happiness, and success. I think this is very important for everyone to know and practice, because your inner voice can make a big difference in your life.

Better Inner voice for happiness

Related Articles From Around The Internet

If you want to learn more about the topic of inner voice psychology, you can check out these articles from different sources:

Why your most important relationship is with your inner voice1

This article from The Guardian features an interview with Ethan Kross, a psychologist and neuroscientist who studies the science of introspection. He talks about his new book, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head and How to Harness It, and shares some tips on how to deal with negative self-talk and turn it into something more positive.

What the voice inside your head says about you2

This article from BBC Future explores the phenomenon of inner voice, or internal dialogue, and how it varies among different people. It discusses how inner voice can affect our personality, creativity, memory, and mental health. It also examines some of the factors that influence how we develop and use our inner voice, such as culture, language, and childhood experiences.

The Critical Inner Voice Explained3

This article from PsychAlive explains what the critical inner voice is, how it originates, and how it affects our behavior and well-being. It describes the critical inner voice as a system of thoughts and attitudes that are hostile toward ourselves and others, and that undermine our self-esteem and happiness. It also provides some strategies on how to challenge and overcome the critical inner voice.

Do You Have an Inner Voice? Not Everyone Does4

This article from HowStuffWorks reveals that not everyone has an inner voice, or at least not in the same way. It cites some research that suggests that some people have a more visual or sensory-based internal chatter, rather than a language-based one. It also explores how having or not having an inner voice can affect our cognition, learning, and communication.

Influencing Our Inner Voice5

This article from Psychology Today offers some advice on how to influence our inner voice and make it more supportive and empowering. It emphasizes the importance of being aware of our inner voice and its impact on our emotions and actions. It also suggests some techniques to improve our inner voice, such as mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, affirmations, self-compassion, and gratitude.


This article from Psychology Today gives an overview of self-talk, or the silent conversations we have with ourselves. It explains how self-talk can shape our mental well-being, our perception of ourselves and others, our coping skills, our learning abilities, and our goal achievement. It also distinguishes between positive and negative self-talk, and provides some tips on how to practice more positive self-talk.

Your inner voice can be your friend

Scholarly Research

Here are three different peer-reviewed studies concerning inner voice:

  • Vissers, Constance Th. W. M., Ekaterina Tomas, and James Law. “The Emergence of Inner Speech and Its Measurement in Atypically Developing Children.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 11, 2020, p. 279. read the abstract here
    • Date of publication: March 17, 2020
    • Summary of the abstract and conclusion:
      • The authors review the theory and measurement of inner speech in children, with a focus on atypical language development.
      • They discuss different methods of assessing inner speech phenomena, such as self-reports, behavioral tasks, neurophysiological measures, and linguistic analyses.
      • They conclude that inner speech is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon that requires a multidisciplinary approach to study its development and functions in typical and atypical populations.
    • Main author: Constance Th. W. M. Vissers
  • Geva, Sharon, and Charles Fernyhough. “A Penny for Your Thoughts: Children’s Inner Speech and Its Neuro-Development.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 10, 2019, p. 1708. read the abstract here
    • Date of publication: August 14, 2019
    • Summary of the abstract and conclusion:
      • The authors examine the developmental relations between inner speech and the dorsal language stream, a neural pathway that supports speech production and comprehension.
      • They review evidence that the dorsal language stream has a role in supporting inner speech in adults, and consider pediatric studies of its anatomical development and functional roles.
      • They propose possible causal accounts of how the dorsal language stream and inner speech co-develop, and discuss their implications for evolutionary and ontogenetic theories of language and cognition.
    • Main author: Sharon Geva
  • Hurlburt, Russell T., Christopher L. Heavey, and Jason M. Kelsey. “Toward a Phenomenology of Inner Speaking.” Consciousness and Cognition, vol. 20, no. 4, 2011, pp. 1497-1511. [read the abstract here]
    • Date of publication: December 2011
    • Summary of the abstract and conclusion:
      • The authors use a method called Descriptive Experience Sampling (DES) to investigate the characteristics of inner speaking in natural environments.
      • They report that inner speaking is a common but not ubiquitous phenomenon, that it varies in its sensory qualities, linguistic features, and dialogical aspects, and that it is often associated with emotion and agency.
      • They suggest that DES can provide a rigorous and reliable way of exploring the phenomenology of inner speaking and other aspects of inner experience.
    • Main author: Russell T. Hurlburt
Develop a postive inner voice with these tips.

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